Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
