I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
