The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
