I'm drive I can fine osifer
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
