umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Randomize