maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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