Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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