what if every blade of grass was a penis?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
