forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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