problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
