Duck Duck Cougar?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
