I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
