i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
