We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
