We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
