I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
