first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
