I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
