now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
