he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My legs feel like baby dolphins
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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