the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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