his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
