I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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