i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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