I've blown a few things in my day
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
