note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
