The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
