Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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