if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize