She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
