All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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