Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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