"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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