He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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