I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
