I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize