I think scott just propositioned me for sex
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
