if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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