Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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