and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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