Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
