how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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