He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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