I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
