Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
