hotel room ftw
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
