I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
