Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
