He asked to "fluff my boner.."
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
