Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
