Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
