marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize