if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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