weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
