i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Randomize
