so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
