the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
