She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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