Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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