there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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