Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
