That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
