Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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