Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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